What About the
Children?
As a lifelong elementary school educator, I am often
surprised at how many enlightened well-informed parents still think that
children are not listening. That school-age
children are not picking up content when you’re whispering to their teacher.
That when you spell words to another adult they didn’t get a message that
you’re doing something secretive. That
when your vitriolic anger or despairing sadness is displayed, they don’t
internalize. While sincerely innocent
intentions often drive those parental communications; the impact on kids is often
unrealized. Except by us. Your teachers,
your administrators, your counselors. Lately, with an election as its backdrop,
what we in schools are witnessing is just short of deplorable.
In a California school where predominant political beliefs
are liberal ones, children are acting out.
In our school of largely privileged families with caring and charitable
minds, the children are becoming mean with each other. Name-calling has returned to a decades old
standard. And duplicitousness as far as deceit towards adults has escalated. A 10 year old white child targeted a child
of color for heinously befouling a school bathroom when it was well-proven that the black
child wasn’t even there at the time. An eight year old said if he could, he
would “pee” on Donald Trump. Children
are regularly declaring the end of friendship, the wrath of retribution and the
exclusion of others. The mad passions of vociferous endorsers cloud the mood of the country, and moods are palpably felt by young minds. Election-fueled anger
and meanness in the political rhetoric has been replacing civil discourse. While hateful speech continued to proliferate,
we forgot the children were listening.
While I plan to cast my vote for a candidate
whose career spans a lifetime of impressive service to children, my point isn’t
partisan. The worry is that we’re
passing derogation onto the next generation. That our division
as a country feeds children the right to divide themselves and dislike those
they barely know. Or degrade those they do know just because they don’t agree. The
once national values of love, service, devotion, inclusion and goodwill have
been tarnished by our disagreements at dark and ignoble levels.
The elementary school in which I share in the raising of
children doesn’t believe in letter grades for children. We want them to keep challenging their
challenges and growing their strengths.
But if I were to “grade” the election, I’d give it a “D.” It has nearly failed the nation and most
assuredly will fail the children if the aftermath doesn’t address with deep
reflection the errors of its process. With
faith and hope that we remember the children, we have got to pull ourselves
together. What would you say to a child
who exclaimed that his mother should be “locked up” or one who called his
parent a “disaster?” The children
inherit the outcome of this election, its violence or lack thereof, its hate or
lack thereof. Who do we want our
children to be? Those who spit in the
faces of others or those who share their recess games?
The election and its audibility have not been soundproofed and
your children are listening. If ever there were a time to sit down with
children and apologize for hostility and intolerance, this is it. Tell them we’re counting on them to grow up
with open hearts and sound minds, to reason thoughtfully and disagree
mindfully. We'll need them to be our teachers. If any of our wisdom remains, we'll respectfully listen.
Thanks for visiting the D Blog. Will get back to you ASAP. Bon Appetit!
:) Ilene Wendy